About
My name is Cecile. I’m a 36 year young single woman first, single mother second, and am in the process of coming to know myself outside of these two labels I’ve just mentioned. My true Self and not the face I’ve put on for the benefit of the outside world. Discovering who I really am, and by doing so learning to accept myself, faults and all.
Years of discontent had already taught me what didn’t work in my life. I was ready to learn what did. I’d been generally unhappy, angry, bitter and depressed for years, & letting all this negative emotion/energy rule every aspect of my life; from the way I was raising my daughter to the way I had been treating myself. Ironically, it was getting laid off last year which allowed for the beginning of a monumental change.
In a strange twist of fate, I was gifted with Time. Time to myself, time to think and reflect on what I wanted for myself and my child and our future. I’d lost myself somewhere over the years. I let myself become inundated by all the mundane responsibilities of life, accompanied by all the physical, emotional & financial drains and stresses of single parenthood. There was no air left and I was coming closer and closer to suffocating with each and every passing day.
It took an otherwise calamitous event, this unfortunate stigma of unemployment, which allowed me to realize that I have been living, rather merely existing, for everyone else except for the two most important people in my life; myself and my daughter.
For the first time in as long as I can remember, I am beginning to breathe again. I am beginning to SEE things in an entirely different light. Instead of hearing the brutal, incessant, silent screaming in my mind, heart and soul, I am beginning to listen to the growing peaceful serenity within me.
I am finding my center, my balance. I have let go of this damaging desire/need to meet everyone else’s expectations and am now holding myself accountable for my expectations for myself. I am letting go and embracing the core of me, arousing my inner soul. Demanding that I be more honest with myself than most people ever have the courage to be and by doing so hoping to inspire others to do the same. Releasing my true inner voice and seeing to what depths that freedom will take me. What discoveries will I make? What can we learn about ourselves by simply allowing ourselves the freedom to just be who we truly are? And hopefully, in the process, learning to give ourselves the same love, forgiveness & kindness that we would give any other deserving human being.
I’m choosing to bare my soul, to come to you naked and to speak with abandon, with no care or worry. Not only to feed my need for expression but to hold myself accountable to continuing with this evolution. To be able to speak openly with myself and help organize the racing chaos of thoughts, ideas and emotions within, in the hopes that I can understand and process them more efficiently. And if anything that I may be struggling through, any experience or random revelation I undergo can help bring clarity or understanding to someone else that may be in need of it or can make use of it, then I wish for that most of all.
I’m finding the strength I need to take back control of my life and who I want, who I’m meant, to be and to truly begin to heal. I’m becoming… I am a butterfly in chrysalis form. I’m letting go of my shackles and discovering my role, my part in all of this…
I’ve found me.
BREAKING FREE…
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
Marianne Williamson
